I seek attention. I don’t care if someone says, “Omg you’re hot!” or something trivial like that, I could give two shits. But when someone gives me the attention of, “Oh wow, you’re a great writer” or they want to talk to me about my writing or something like that, I light up. One of the best compliments you can give me is that I’m a great writer and that you believe in me. That means the most to me, it truly does. People imply that I’m talented or feel that I am, but I’d rather have someone read part of an entire project of mine and give me their all on my talent. Give me that attention and I can carry it on to do more great things. That’s probably trivial and selfish, but I have no other way of phrasing it.

The past two years have been some of the most difficult I’ve faced. I feel so empty, like I’m a burden, this constant presence of nausea and anxiety in my stomach. I put on a face every day when I go to school and I’m so sick of it.

My writing is all I have

After community college I’m going to get my major in either English or Screenwriting then get my masters in Film and Television at Academy of Art. 

Beyonce is better than you.

My closest/best friends are Kai, Shelby, Megan, Rachael, Rachel, and Tom. 

One of my biggest goals is to become published or just known by a fairly big group of people. I’m hoping and going to push for my dream to become involved with film. I’m writing a script right now and those who’ve read it say that it’s good or really good, which fuels my drive. Whether I become the next George Lucas or the next Tarantino or the first Draheim, I’m going to push and strive for the best.

I feel like there are two big misconceptions about me:

1. I don’t care enough or I’m not caring
2. My sexuality is a joke

I care so so much about my friends and when I get the occasional “Zach’s an asshole” or “Wow he’s such a prick”, okay, doesn’t go well with my defense, but fuck off. So what if I make a few mean jokes from time to time, who doesn’t do that? Among friends you’re supposed to make fun on one another and just walk away like it’s no big deal, but to assume that I’m an asshole or a prick just because I make a few rude comments is fucking stupid. I sweat and bleed for my friends and it’s just…if one feels that way (and if you follow me), I’m sorry, you couldn’t be more wrong. I care about all of my friends deeply and will do anything to help them out with something if they ask for it.

Again, I’ve had to deal with this, but I hate it when people just assume, “Oh he’s bi? Well no he’s not, he’s gay obviously, it’s a stepping stone, duh”. Fuck off. Why would I lie about that? Sure, are there days that I feel more ‘gay’ than ‘straight’? Yeah, and vice versa. I can’t talk openly that much to my friends about guys and when I eventually DO talk about guys, it’s perceived, “Oh well CLEARLY he’s gay”. There’s obviously nothing wrong with being gay and the whole ‘ooh fuck labels thing’ but it pisses me off that people assume that I’m living a lie or some shit. I like men and I like women. Sometimes equally, sometimes not. Further, I feel like I can’t talk openly about me liking dudes due to fear in judgment from people. I’m terrified of people judging me for my sexuality it’s horrible. Two days ago I needed to have a picture of a close guy friend and I asked for one of my friends to send me a good pic so I can turn into pop art. When they posted it on my wall and wrote ‘hottie’ as the caption, I freaked out. What if they heard from someone that a picture of them was posted on my wall written, ‘hottie’? As if me and that friend were recently talking about his looks in an objectifying way? The friend whose photo was posted is in no way homophobic, but I do not want it to be shown that I’m some kind of creep who only thinks “Oh yeah fuck man he’s so hot I undress them with my eyes 24/7”. I just…it’s annoying and stupid is all I have to say about it.

I get attached to people way too easily, in real life and in on here. The friends I’ve made on here feel no different than the friends I have in real life, and it kinda feels like there are two Zach’s, on tumblr and in real life, regarding friendships. Still the same person, but in real life I’m far more interesting.

I’m a very open book. If you ask me something about myself, there’s a good chance I’ll answer the question to the fullest detail. There’s really only one thing that I won’t talk to openly and that’s any possible sexual things I’ve done. But I will go into detail about fantasies and/or my relationship with my hand.

I sometimes which I could get laser surgery or whatever to remove all my pubic hair. But then I’d feel bad and I don’t think lasers belong anywhere near my precious genitals.